lump in throat moments
well, the houseguest entertainment is going swimmingly. Duke putting up the swing frame yesterday, meaning that I could whip up a swing today and fit this rather funky bag seat in the gap where the broken swing boat had been, allowed for much outdoor busyness. The sky also brightened sufficiently to allow for the planned BBQ tea featuring Em’s first experience of toasting marshmallows - how exactly she has managed to reach 11 without ever toasting a marshmallow let alone making it into a s’more is beyond me! She seemed to enjoy the experience…… they have just showered and are now "top to tail" in Aprilia’s bed playing DS games with the instruction that I expect them to be quiet enough to make me assume they are asleep, otherwise I will remove DSs from the room……
There have been a couple of moments today when I really did feel for Em though.
Bearing in mind she only sees Aprilia every few months, she counts her as her best friend rather than any of the multitude of girls she sees day in day out. Seems sad really when she has all those social oportunities of school and associated clubs and yet her best friend is a cousin 4 years younger that she sees only when 2 sets of parents can manage to co-ordinate a play date. Makes me realise that actually school really isn’t the be all and end all for making buddies after all which is quite a relief really as i do sometimes wonder if it’s HE that makes Aprilia like she is rather than her personality being what makes HE the perfect thing for her (did that make any sense?)
And then there were multiple comments about how she wishes that she lived with us so she didn’t have to go to High School next month, I get the impression that she is slightly on the outside of the "in crowd" and is genuinely worried that if the one girl who links her to the "right" people falls out with her then she will be friendless. How horrible to be starting a new school with that hanging over you!
Plus several comments on how her mum (who is a teacher by the way) would not be clever enough to home educate her because she can’t do maths and can only "do" the packages on the PC that she has to know which I find alarming in an ICT teacher!
And that her mum isn’t a great mum because she leaved Em to look after her "baby sister" who is a year older than Aprilia but has multiple, severe physical and developmental disabilities whilst she plays on her laptop upstairs. And whilst I KNOW that ALL teenagers (and 11 is close enough) are misunderstood, unloved and parented by hopeless cases I do feel for her because I know from other sources that she does indeed leave Ceri alone at the other end of the house but then again I also know that Ceri was born desperately prem, that her mum nearly died and that she had PND for a long time afterwards (she didn’t bother going to antinatal apointments because she was too busy at work so pre-eclampsia was missed until she collapsed on the way to work, critically ill) and I do wonder if she even really registers C as hers so I wonder if it’s just a not coping thing and she "deals" with it by just ignoring that side of her life completely. Sad though.
Anyway she’s had a riot today, being a little girl, not trying to be a pseudo grown up, and it’s lovely to see, is a bit scary though to think that it’s only 3 or 4 years til Aprilia hits the spots and curves stage!
